Well, the last few months have left me feeling a bit like an ostrich with my head buried in the sand. *wipes forehead* The end of a crazy pregnancy left me feeling dizzy most days and just plain sick other days. Then, the glorious (but by far NOT glamorous) day to welcome our newest family member arrived. So, now we have made the transition from a quiet family of 4 to a slightly more chaotic family of 5. I know it sounds completely insane to many people, but we couldn’t be happier and never imagined the joy that our new little one has brought into our lives.
It has been a strange mix of emotions as we have learned how to manage the insanity of being outnumbered. Haha, I never could’ve imagined how difficult it could be at times, but that has only served to draw me to my knees to seek wisdom and strength from the Giver of all good things.
To say that I am tired would be too obvious, but the reality is that I love my life. I wouldn’t change a single thing. I wouldn’t take anything back or even change the timing of it all.
Each day is full of new challenges as I continue the journey of homeschooling, housekeeping, marriage and simply life in general. The days of a quiet cup of tea while meeting with the Lord and pouring over His Word seem like a distant dream. However, I am encouraged as I am reminded of how short these days are and how quickly my children are growing. It seems only yesterday I was holding my oldest in a tight swaddle as he slept and I wondered how in the world I would manage this new role as a Mother of even one child. And, now, here I am with 3!
Perhaps the most shocking thing about this journey has been the reactions of people when they see our family, or when they ask of our future plans. When #1 arrived, everyone was thrilled and kept asking when #2 would come along. When #2 DID finally come along (really #5 when considering our 3 that live in Paradise with Jesus) people spoke often of the perfect balance of 2 kids and the blessing that we had “one of each” to really give us a full experience in parenting. But, this time around, the most common thing I hear is “Are you guys done???” Sometimes the simple question is posed with gentleness and an open mind, while other people can hardly contain their disgust at the thought that we might want more.
Pardon my own disgust at this approach, but the Scripture calls children a blessing and a sign of God’s favor and I choose to think of them as exactly that. Ok, I’m getting my feathers ruffled a bit, but it is so sad to me that people can’t contain their judgement when looking at the family that I so dearly love. *sigh* And, while I know it isn’t that simple and that there are many valid reasons one might state for said judgement, that doesn’t make it any less hurtful.
So, my response has become vague and simple: We will love and accept as many children as the Lord will give us. But, Lord forgive me if my inner rebel gets the best of me sometimes when I sense judgement from people and follow this with “Well, we actually hope to PAY to add children to our family someday since we have long prayed to adopt!”
Ramblings aside, my sweet baby is sleeping but probably not for long so I must tend to the screaming mountain of laundry that awaits in the next room!
*takes a deep breath*
Aaaand, I’m off and running again! 🙂